There is a lot of rubbish written about rapport and how we can get and maintain it with people we meet. Rapport is usually used in conjuction with owrds like “win” and “control” and “influence” and “persuasion”, givign the impression that rapport is soemthing you DO to people.


So, what is Rapport?

Well, you have probably heard the phrase “people like people who are like themselves”?

That essentially means, people like people with the same or similar maps of the world to them. Why? Because if you have a similar map you can communicate on the same “wavelength” you have respect for that persons viewpoint.

And that is the key word: Respect.

Rapport is about respecting peoples maps of the world and a willingness and ability to communication with them in their map.

I know people who gain fantastic rapport with people, yet they totally ignore all the alleged “rules” of rapport, jsut becuase they are genuinly respectful of the other persons map.

So, the first stage to gaining rapport is not about “matching” or “mirroring” (although some of those skills are useful) it is about going in with the attitude of respect and understanding.