Sometimes I sit here and can’t think of a single thing to say in this blog.

Not a single thing. My mind goes blank, as blank as the screen at which I am staring at.

You know what this is like?

Sorry, that was mean of me.

But it is true. Which is odd, because NLP and its surrounding subjects are such a vast area you would think I would be spoilt for choice about what to write about that day.


Maybe that is it. There is a common condition in psychology known as “choice paralysis” where you have so much to do, that you just cannot decide what to do first so you just shut down. I am sure we have all been there at some point?

But maybe not.

So, what do I do?

If at any time I cannot think of anything to say I always go back to the four cornerstones of NLP as defined by Robert Dilts:
1. Sensory Acuity
2. Rapport
3. Behavioural Flexibility
4. Outcome orientation

Because in those four simple terms are everything we need to know about NLP, but more than that about behaviour, communication and general getting where we want to go.

People seem to list them in this order like it are some kind of order of importance, or steps to be taken. First get sensory acuity…

But it is not quite as simple as that, they all intertwine and interact. You can have all the behavioural flexibly you want, but it is pointless if you don’t where you are going (outcome orientation) and you can’t really know where you are going without a knowledge of your surroundings (sensory acuity). Understand?

Think about it now, think of some examples where they interact. You will soon realise that they are not actually a list of independent definitions and skills but an interdependent matrix.

The thing I always wonder is these are the “boxes” of the matrix, what are the arrows in between?