Welcome to 2007. I thought I would give you a few days to settle back in after the Christmas and New Year festivities before I sent this out…!
I hope 2007 is a fantastic year for us all, with big changes on the way here (I have been saying that since September haven’t I? They are coming I promise. Just building a state of anticipation…!)
Resolutions the NLP Way…
Those of you that have trained with me or know me know that I don’t believe in talking about NLP or living by the rules NLP, but integrating the ideas, skills techniques and predominantly the ATTITUDE of NLP into our behaviour so that you just act in a different way; Problems just melt away, you find you just seem to get on with people better, get less stressed…
As Richard Bandler says in his new book “Conversations” with Owen Fitzpatrick being free is not about living a life based on NLP or learning about NLP, People get stupid (inflexible) when they get addicted to coaching or NLP or Self Improvement. NLP is about living the attitude.
So when I write articles I make the effort to avoid NLP “lingo”, but on occasions it is useful to look at things in an overtly NLP way…
Let’s consider New Year’s Resolutions. The common choices people make are to:
• Give up something they normally enjoy.
• Take up something they don’t normally enjoy.
So it makes sense to consider these in the context of the TOWARDS and AWAY FROM metaprogramme.
In the broadest sense, we move towards (perceived) pleasure and away from (perceived) pain. Whether that be physical or emotional.
So straight away we can see a problem, we are trying to go against our own metaprogrammes when trying to make new years resolutions (it’s not difficult to see why these choices fail almost all of the time. In the first case, they’re trying to move away from pleasure and in the second, they’re trying to move towards discomfort and pain!). We do what we do, no matter how “bad”, because our unconscious sees the behaviour as beneficial. Even heroine addicts take heroine for a positive reason, even if it is the one of the most terrible and destruction behaviours you can do.
So, to make resolutions really work you need to switch the metaprogramme. Lets use the example of smoking.
You (or a client) smoke for a positive reason, whatever that may be. You want to quit because you know it is bad for you/you are sick of the smell/everyone is nagging you/whatever the reason.
At the moment you are “towards” the behaviour smoking. So you need to create a compelling towards motivation for the behaviour “not smoking”. You need to figure out what positive benefits you will get from changing this behaviour. Maybe you will be healthier/taste your food/have more money/whatever. You have to strongly create this positive state, imagine this outcome vividly in the present context (not some distant future time, but NOW) and most importantly feel good about this new behaviour, this new “you” (a specific feeling of “good” associated with this new you, a generally wishy-washy feelings won’t work)
If you’re looking forward to something, it’s much easier to do all of the things necessary to make it happen. It draws you TOWARDS the now behaviour
And if you know the dire consequences of failure, there is also a driving force behind doing all of the things you need to do for success. It pushes you AWAY FROM the old behaviour
So, you need to create a terrible horrendous image of you if you continue on with this behaviour.
Tony Robbins calls this “leverage”. Making the change will create massive amounts of immediate pleasure and not hanging will create massive amounts of immediate pain.
Richard Bandler calls it “propulsion systems” (for his CD on this click here)