For example I injured my back very badly some time ago, for a long time I would say “I have a bad back” it was description of who I was it was part of what made me. For all that time I was saying that I never ever improved it.
Because, well you know I have a bad back”. It becomes fixed.
Once I realised this, I changed the way I defined myself. I would say “I currently have a bad back” this would give a time constraint to my injury and allow me to move forward.
The words we sue to define the problems we have, especially the time predicates can make an immense difference to how we deal with the problems we have.
I have “cured” clients of their problems just by saying “what was the problem that you HAD” therefore putting their problem in the past.
Try it, look at any negative behaviours or “problems” you have that you find difficult to resolve, see how you talk about them. Then “reframe” them into a different time constraint with words that presuppose the “problem” is already resolved or easily can be, like “had” “currently” etc.
This is just ONE example of how the language we use can trap ourselves. I will explore this in more detail over the next few days!